LIFE CHANGER APRIL 2012: THE LETTER TO MOTON

 INDIGO CHILD AS VITRUVIAN MAN,

OR THE PRINCE OF PORTLAND

“All ya'll niggas who dislike me
Talkin trash out ya mouth don't excite me
Fake niggas need to go and take a hike, g

Disrespect, man.. -we don't take lightly.” -Lost Boyz

4/11/2012 8:30PM

“Never be bullied into silence. 

Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
-Robert Frost

THE LETTER TO MOTON

In response to the statement: “I’m not your Mother”
(and the unspoken implication in which it was said.)

…YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER EITHER.

I occupied 435 Gulledge AND my mother’s life, 

BEFORE you and your son.If on any level, 

there’s a feeling of eclipsing or usurping that fact, 

it’s misdirected.

Keep some things in mind:

1). I know your address -you don’t know mine.
2). I’m not your wife’s vulnerable child anymore.
3). You’re not relating to me in an UNLOVING MANNER 

behind close doors anymore.
4). This CAN be mailed to members in your family 

(& 'church family').

5).  A. Your enemies wish you ill. There is nothing they want more than to eliminate you. If, in your struggles with them you stop halfway or even three quarters of the way, you only make them more determined, more embittered, and they will someday take revenge. They may act friendly for the time being, but this is only because…they have no choice but to bide their time.

B. ..whatever wound you inflicted on them, deliberately or not, do not take their hatred personally. Just recognize that there is no possibility of peace between you…
At least understand that they are plotting against you (!), and pay no heed to whatever friendliness they feign. Your only weapon in such a situation is your own wariness.

-The Art of War / The 48 Laws of Power

*I’ve accepted this about you, you should KNOW this about me.

*

PAGE TWO

Once mama started arguing with me,
I knew I was never gonna come around again.
You can’t have that dynamic with your own mother.

Her motherhood to me for sure 

is compromised by her marriage to you.
It was a lie, of course, 

when I said I didn’t come for Christmas because I was sleeping.
I was …sleeping…

But the contributing factors included:

Leaving my undergarments waiting for me unmoved in the 

bathroom like that was really a point to be made to me 

-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!

The whole weird reaction and silence before me & mama 

went to the Mens Wearhouse Christmas Party

-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!

The fact that gas had to be a big issue at all, 

when I was able to pay for it
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!

I worked in some fashion the whole time I was there, 

but going to mama like she could confirm that or not, 

and then doing it in front of Trey 

(the nigga who didn’t have a job) 

not knowing Trey would bail me out 

-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
(The Man that I am doesn’t deal with my integrity questioned)

Repeating the whole “kicking me out” instead of just saying, nigga I love ya and I want you to work out what you need to work out. I’m here everyday for you to talk to, but I want you to fly again, not because its some burden letting you stay in your own home…albeit in the garage

…but because, I’m pulling for you to be unconquered by misfortunate events and relationships; 

….instead of me coming to you to tell you my plans, and you telling me, yea you know it was coming right. 

I was gonna tell you, you need to leave (heartbreaking, bro)
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!

I got a whole laundry list of these bitchez, 

but I think I made my point.

But the laptop. Dude…, seriously? 

You got one for yourself!? (WOOOW) 

The Both of you, my parents, let a 22 yr. old Mexican Girl, 

from some small town in lily white Oregon, who had seen me once, 

working in a Tanning Salon at the time, 

assist me in getting something I really needed. 

SMH (shaking my head)

Let me tell you what that little Mexican Girl has assisted me in getting over the past 5 years: 3 (THREE) laptops, an HP TouchSmart Desktop, a 2010 Nissan Rogue Krom Suv, 3 Flatscreen Televisions, 7 Business Licenses registered in Dallas, the newest iPhone, the newest Blackberry, an Xperia that I got for her, my own production studio, re-acquiring every piece of music production equipment I had in Oregon, 

and last but not least..
-a deserved tangible sense of Family.

(add 2 blu-rays, nintendo wii, xbox And playstation 3 to the list 

#watchhowdaddyball/playagrande)

Her MOTHER, 

SENDS Christmas care packages Every Year From Oregon!
,and $300 dollars Every month.
My mother, with me on the other-side of the Dallas skyline,  sends…
 That’s why I didn’t come for Christmas.

Not because I was sleeping.

*

PAGE THREE

You are Not my real enemy. 

You’re just two-faced!…duplicitous…

You were NEVER my REAL enemy.
You, were EMPOWERED to act, behave,
and relate to me in the way that you did,
BY MY MOTHER.

You became what you became for me due to 

the failure and absence of self-worth in my mother. 

An absent DEMAND for you to be more. 

I do not share that weakness.

If not unblemished, 

I’ve proven unconquered by the machinations of your despotic spirit.
And I’m no longer fool enough to take 

as substantial my mother’s resentment, 

combative reactions, or truculent responses towards me.

It has been expressed to me by men and women of multiple backgrounds of me being an amazing young man, and an honor to know, just because, not because I could “DO” something --but those words have NEVER come from the mouths or seen in the actions of my so-called parents. 

QUITE THE CONTRARY TO IT.

WE do Not need to communicate with each other.
You have been the author of disunion and divisiveness, not the dispeller of it.

I have one mission in life. And it is not being some famous entertainer. It is to get into a position, to take action in every case of betrayal, mistreatment, dishonor, disrespect, slight and wrong-doing that I’ve ever experienced at the hands of others.

DON’T GIVE ME ANYMORE FUEL.

I am NOT psychologically well-adjusted,
(if somebody tells you they’re crazy believe them).

4/12/2012 2:29pm

"I'm telling you now, you muthafucka's don't know me."

-Tupac Amaru Shakur
 

HERO MECHALITH:

MIGHTY YUNG HERO
UNDERGROUND HERO/WRUSH FURY
Prince of Portland . Jazz God Vespertine . Underground Zeus

Owner and Operator of
MECHALITH MILLENNIUM MEDIA
Portland, OR. * Dallas, TX. * London, UK

State Registered Agent, and Owner of 

TEXAS ELITE KRUMPERS, INC.

www.mechalithmillennium.com
http://heromechalithmillennium.blogspot.com

http://soundcloud.com/hero-mechalith-peerlessonepdx

http://heromechalith.tumblr.com/

LIFE-CHANGER APRIL 2012: THE RECAPITULATION OF HERO MECHALITH

THE RECAPITULATION OF HERO MECHALITH 

Question: Why you always bringing up old sh..?

Answer: Cause ain't a damn thang changed.

 

"I am no longer going to be the person I am expected to be." 

When I forgive (let go of) you, it's not about you. 

It's about ME. [In forgiving] I cut the cord between ME, and you!. 

-TD Jakes

You deserve a medal. -Kim Moton

0-18 Years: I should have spoken up for myself. 

And spoke out against what was a mistreatment of myself.

I had no champion. So I conformed. 

And I created another life for myself outside of the dysfunctional 

and abusive situation my f...in' mother put me in. 

But SHE was dealing with me 'harshly' LONG before Moton did. 

And she still does! lol

 

PROLOGUE

RECAPITULATION

Recapitulation (music): 

A section of musical sonata form where the exposition 

is repeated in an altered form and the development is concluded.

Recapitulation (nagualism): 

Castaneda - "recollecting one's life down to the most insignificant detail"; when complete, one no longer abides by the limitations of their person.

Sanchez - a procedure of self-healing. Damage is caused by repetitive emotional conflicts. When these conflicts persist they drain one's vital energy (spirit). Recapitulation is done by reliving events in the past without the emotional susceptibility the event caused in the past.

Raphael - Recapitulation is used to discharge one's emotion so that they do not react and one can perceive clearly. Emotional charges blind one from perceiving reality as it truly is.

THE GODS IN EVERYMAN

To feel authentic means to be free to develop traits and potentials that are innate predispositions.

When we are accepted and allowed to be genuine, 

it's possible to have self-esteem and authenticity together.

This develops only if we are encouraged rather than  

disheartened by the reactions of significant others to us...

From childhood on, first our family and then our culture are the mirrors in which we see ourselves as acceptable or not. When we need to conform in order to be acceptable, we may end up wearing a false face and playing an empty role if who we are inside and what is expected of us are far apart.

THE HADES MAN

The Hades man in a Zeus world 

has the same difficulties as does a black man in a white world. 

In a white world, the black man does not see positive images of himself; 

he is treated as an inferior, 

and is the recipient of negative or shadow projections.

The theme for Hades the man, is how to adapt: 

Can he stay true to himself and also fit into the outer world?

His innate predisposition is not encouraged; on the contrary, 

he is measured against a personality standard that is the very opposite of who he is.

So the Hades boy may thus feel unwelcome in the world as he is,

and find that his interior world is, in contrast, a refuge.

He does well when his parents can respect his individuality, 

and can appreciate that a capacity for solitude is a strength, not weirdness.

He usually receives no help with the ways he has of perceiving 

and has to manage how to interpret his own experience or repress his subjective reactions.

If parents use a son for their own self-esteem, 

then anger may lie just below the surface and be directed against 

the son whom they do not see themselves in.

Father-son combinations often fare worse. 

Through reading...a Hades man finds the vocabulary to convey the riches of his inner experience 

(and power)...if he is loved or loves anyone, then the realm of emotions also becomes a place in which he grows...Hades, was also called the "rich one," and his realm a source of underground wealth (Zeus of the Underworld/Archetype of The Rich One).To have Hades as a part of one's psychological nature can be very enriching...Hades as a recluse is a source of creativity can be expressed through the arts...

-Jean Shinoda-Bolen, M.D.

* The Laugh Out Loud in my opening quote shouldn't be confused with me thinking what was done to me was funny, but that I am no longer emotionally affected by somebody who has proven unable to grow, change, and relate without combustion to their own offspring. #disrespectwedon'ttakelightly

INTRODUCTION TO THE LETTER

Age 18- Present

I am the champion of the child I once was, the adult he never had

and the young fool I no longer am.

You should pray deeply for anyone, 

evil enough to have wronged either.

My First 3 Rules

1. I don't have anything to do with anybody that has done me wrong in any way

2. In relationship with men, if there's loss of enough respect, 

where I would commit violence to them, or they to me, I terminate the relationship.

3. In relationship with women, I don't talk to bitchez who hang up on me. A man has never done that with me. I have NEVER been in relationship with the kind of man that didn't respect or couldn't take the words that come out of my mouth. Me and the men I talk to don't argue.

 

I've been telling Becca since the first time my mother hung up on me (3xs now since I left home again, but trust me, never again), that IF, they (my mother and moton) ever point blank addressed anything instead of facading with me and moving on with things, that I'd hit them right between the eyes with some real talk. They never did. When I stopped indulging them they definitely withdrew. And my mother harbored every issue SHE wanted answered, but there was never the bright idea -I wanted some answers for behaviours myself. Which NEVER came. Until I initiated them.

My recapitulation process of addressing every detail of my life, prompted an inquiry into the nature of a seemingly sympathetic remark made by my mother to me concerning Moton "missing time from work" behind legal requirements involving an assault he made on me (at legal age) and the subsequent charge that was pressed as a result of it.

I took the opportunity of that conversation, to reveal to her that the occurrence was the THIRD such opportunity that Moton seized to 'have his way' with me without an audience. ABUSE by definition. And this fuckin' woman turned this phone call into to some personality clash between she and I. And Mr. Moton couldn't resist asserting himself, giving me the chance I wanted -to have him be introduced to a ....more 'Honest' expression of myself :).....insert evil laugh right here!!!

THE LETTER TO MOTON

(...continued tomorrow)