INDIGO CHILD AS VITRUVIAN MAN,
OR THE PRINCE OF PORTLAND
“All ya'll niggas who dislike me
Talkin trash out ya mouth don't excite me
Fake niggas need to go and take a hike, g
Disrespect, man.. -we don't take lightly.” -Lost Boyz
4/11/2012 8:30PM
“Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
-Robert Frost
THE LETTER TO MOTON
In response to the statement: “I’m not your Mother”
(and the unspoken implication in which it was said.)
…YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER EITHER.
I occupied 435 Gulledge AND my mother’s life,
BEFORE you and your son.If on any level,
there’s a feeling of eclipsing or usurping that fact,
it’s misdirected.
Keep some things in mind:
1). I know your address -you don’t know mine.
2). I’m not your wife’s vulnerable child anymore.
3). You’re not relating to me in an UNLOVING MANNER
behind close doors anymore.
4). This CAN be mailed to members in your family
(& 'church family').
5). A. Your enemies wish you ill. There is nothing they want more than to eliminate you. If, in your struggles with them you stop halfway or even three quarters of the way, you only make them more determined, more embittered, and they will someday take revenge. They may act friendly for the time being, but this is only because…they have no choice but to bide their time.
B. ..whatever wound you inflicted on them, deliberately or not, do not take their hatred personally. Just recognize that there is no possibility of peace between you…
At least understand that they are plotting against you (!), and pay no heed to whatever friendliness they feign. Your only weapon in such a situation is your own wariness.
-The Art of War / The 48 Laws of Power
*I’ve accepted this about you, you should KNOW this about me.
*
PAGE TWO
Once mama started arguing with me,
I knew I was never gonna come around again.
You can’t have that dynamic with your own mother.
Her motherhood to me for sure
is compromised by her marriage to you.
It was a lie, of course,
when I said I didn’t come for Christmas because I was sleeping.
I was …sleeping…
But the contributing factors included:
Leaving my undergarments waiting for me unmoved in the
bathroom like that was really a point to be made to me
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
The whole weird reaction and silence before me & mama
went to the Mens Wearhouse Christmas Party
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
The fact that gas had to be a big issue at all,
when I was able to pay for it
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
I worked in some fashion the whole time I was there,
but going to mama like she could confirm that or not,
and then doing it in front of Trey
(the nigga who didn’t have a job)
not knowing Trey would bail me out
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
(The Man that I am doesn’t deal with my integrity questioned)
Repeating the whole “kicking me out” instead of just saying, nigga I love ya and I want you to work out what you need to work out. I’m here everyday for you to talk to, but I want you to fly again, not because its some burden letting you stay in your own home…albeit in the garage
…but because, I’m pulling for you to be unconquered by misfortunate events and relationships;
….instead of me coming to you to tell you my plans, and you telling me, yea you know it was coming right.
I was gonna tell you, you need to leave (heartbreaking, bro)
-that’s why I didn’t come for christmas!
I got a whole laundry list of these bitchez,
but I think I made my point.
But the laptop. Dude…, seriously?
You got one for yourself!? (WOOOW)
The Both of you, my parents, let a 22 yr. old Mexican Girl,
from some small town in lily white Oregon, who had seen me once,
working in a Tanning Salon at the time,
assist me in getting something I really needed.
SMH (shaking my head)
Let me tell you what that little Mexican Girl has assisted me in getting over the past 5 years: 3 (THREE) laptops, an HP TouchSmart Desktop, a 2010 Nissan Rogue Krom Suv, 3 Flatscreen Televisions, 7 Business Licenses registered in Dallas, the newest iPhone, the newest Blackberry, an Xperia that I got for her, my own production studio, re-acquiring every piece of music production equipment I had in Oregon,
and last but not least..
-a deserved tangible sense of Family.
(add 2 blu-rays, nintendo wii, xbox And playstation 3 to the list
#watchhowdaddyball/playagrande)
Her MOTHER,
SENDS Christmas care packages Every Year From Oregon!
,and $300 dollars Every month.
My mother, with me on the other-side of the Dallas skyline, sends…
That’s why I didn’t come for Christmas.
Not because I was sleeping.
*
PAGE THREE
You are Not my real enemy.
You’re just two-faced!…duplicitous…
You were NEVER my REAL enemy.
You, were EMPOWERED to act, behave,
and relate to me in the way that you did,
BY MY MOTHER.
You became what you became for me due to
the failure and absence of self-worth in my mother.
An absent DEMAND for you to be more.
I do not share that weakness.
If not unblemished,
I’ve proven unconquered by the machinations of your despotic spirit.
And I’m no longer fool enough to take
as substantial my mother’s resentment,
combative reactions, or truculent responses towards me.
It has been expressed to me by men and women of multiple backgrounds of me being an amazing young man, and an honor to know, just because, not because I could “DO” something --but those words have NEVER come from the mouths or seen in the actions of my so-called parents.
QUITE THE CONTRARY TO IT.
WE do Not need to communicate with each other.
You have been the author of disunion and divisiveness, not the dispeller of it.
I have one mission in life. And it is not being some famous entertainer. It is to get into a position, to take action in every case of betrayal, mistreatment, dishonor, disrespect, slight and wrong-doing that I’ve ever experienced at the hands of others.
DON’T GIVE ME ANYMORE FUEL.
I am NOT psychologically well-adjusted,
(if somebody tells you they’re crazy believe them).
4/12/2012 2:29pm
"I'm telling you now, you muthafucka's don't know me."
-Tupac Amaru Shakur
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