LAW 8
The essence of power is the ability to keep the initiative,
to get others to react to your moves,
to keep your opponent and those around you on the defensive.
When you make other people come to you,
you suddenly become the one controlling the situation.
If your trap is attractive enough,
the turbulence of your enemies emotions
and desires will blind them to reality.
Good warriors make others come to them,
and do not go to others.
You make your enemy respond on your terms.
When I have laid bait for deer,
I don't shoot at the first doe that comes to sniff,
but wait until the whole herd has gathered around.
Otto von Bismark, 1815 - 1898
PASSIVE AGGRESSORS
These types are masters at disguise.
They present themselves as weak and helpless,
or highly moral and righteous, or friendly and ingratiating.
This makes them hard to pick out at first glance.
They send all kinds of mixed signals--alternating between friendly,
cool, and hostile--creating confusion and conflicting emotions.
If you try to call them on their behavior,
they use this confusion to make you feel guilty,
as if you were the one who was the source of the problem.
Once you are drawn into their dramas, with emotions engaged,
it can be very difficult to detach yourself.
The key is recognizing them in time to take appropriate action.
With Passive Aggressors you must not get emotional
and drawn into their endless intrigues.
The only way to treat these types
is to take bold, uncompromising action that either
discourages further nonsense or sends them running away.
They respond only to power and leverage.
They see there will be real consequences if
they continue their behavior in any form.
To recognize such types, look for extremes in behavior
that are not natural--too kind, too ingratiating, too moral.
These are likely disguises that are worn to deflect
attention from their true nature.
FORBEARANCE
Forbearance is to wait patiently--no rush, no anxiety--
a simple, joyful holding back of what is due.
I was a warrior. I knew that I was waiting for.
Right there is the great joy of warriorship.
Forbearance means holding back with the spirit something that
the warrior knows is rightfully due.
It doesn't mean that a warrior goes around plotting to do
anybody mischief, or planning to settle past scores--as long
as the warrior has control, discipline, and timing, forbearance assures
giving whatever is due to whoever deserves it.
To act in anger, without control and discipline, to have forbearance,
is to be defeated. "What happens after warriors are defeated?"
They either regroup themselves or they abandon the quest for
knowledge and join the ranks of the petty tyrants of life.
Draft from 12.22.09
